What To Do When Your Boyfriend’s Asshole Best Friend Says, “Hey, Never Trust Anything That Bleeds For Seven Days And Doesn’t Die,
OR The Only Poem I’ll Ever Write About Periods.
Don’t excuse him because he’s had
at least three lite beers
and is sweating through his black button down
that his mom or exgirlfriend
probably bought him.
Don’t excuse him because he’s been turned down
by the last six girls he went on dates with
after meeting them on tindr
with a picture that’s seven years old
Don’t excuse him because
he’s usually such a nice guy
because you don’t want to be a bitch
because you don’t want to cause a scene
because when you were seventeen
your sister told you
no one likes an angry feminist
Let me explain something to you.
Every goddamn motherfucking month since I was eleven,
a part of me
tore itself to shreds
ripped itself apart inside me
and then remade itself.
So yes, I bleed for seven days
and I don’t die
You know what else can do that?
Things of legend.
Fuck, I can even
So I say, never trust anything that can’t
bleed for seven days and not die.
You know what that makes it?
So let’s see, hon,
What you’re made of.
If you can bleed for seven days
and not die.
Rip out his jugular with your teeth.
And when he bleeds for seven seconds
spit on his corpse and say,
I thought not.
Those of us in animation always gripe that the rest of Hollywood doesn’t care or know the first thing about animated films. There are tons of anecdotal stories to support this position, but finally, we’ve got some definitive proof. And if you think Hollywood doesn’t understand animation, it’s even worse than you could imagine.
Ordinarily I wouldn’t do this, but my buddy has the worst possible luck.
So he typically barely has the funds to scrape together for anything fun, so I typically try to help him out so we can rock xbox games together. We’ve known each other for 5 years and it’s always a somewhat selfish gesture when I buy him a game, because it means I’ll have an awesome buddy to play with.
He spent the last few months saving, and setting aside as much as he could to get an XBOX One. Finally, after saving and trading enough stuff in, he manages to buy one. Gets home, plugs it in, and the HDMI port on his TV is broken (like, pulled out of the TV broken). Because he doesn’t have a lot of money, he has a pretty basic flat screen that only has one HDMI port.
At the moment I’m between jobs and have a 13 week old daughter, so I can’t float him the cash. Would you consider donating to the cause? I feel terrible for the guy as bad things like this tend to happen to him, and he typically saves all his money to buy nice things for his daughter.
Any size donation will help as he only needs about $200 for a decent flat screen from Walmart. Send any size donation via paypal to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Hello my lovely followers! I have an important manner to discuss with you all. So recently, I’ve been harassed via asks by a blogger who calls himself easymon3yshooter. I decided to respond to his second classic “you a hoe” insult (honestly, the only person he is insulting is himself by showing he…